“Awake Now: Moving Through Pain, Rising in Love”

“Awake Now: Moving Through Pain, Rising in Love”

By Mike, The Adapted Adventurer

This week, something shifted in me—and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same.

It started in the gym. I was tired, stiff, and full of the usual excuses. My leg wasn’t cooperating, my spirit even less so. But I got on that NuStep anyway. Told myself I’d do 20 minutes. I did 30.

3035 steps. 100 steps per minute.

And in that rhythm, something deeper than muscle woke up: my soul.

Because in that moment, I finally understood something I’ve resisted for far too long:

The people who pushed me weren’t harassing me. They were loving me.

Chris. My family. My friends. They weren’t asking me to be more than I could be. They were reminding me of who I still am.

And it hit me like a wave—

If I’m going to hurt anyway, let it be because I’m living doing what i want to do.

Let it be because I’m trying.

Let it be because I’m moving through the fire, not laying in the ashes.

I’ve spent years treating my illness like the end of something. But this body, even with MS, still belongs to me. And that means…

I am awake now.

It’s my body. My life. My responsibility.

Doctors give us medicine. Therapists give us tools.

But I have to give myself permission to keep showing up.

To move. To breathe. To fight—not out of fear, but out of love.

Self-love.

Every pedal stroke, every drop of sweat, every breath in motion is a promise to myself that I’m not done. That I can still live well. That the story isn't over—it’s just beginning again.

To anyone reading this who's stuck in a rut, waiting to “feel ready,” I see you. I’ve been you.

But let me tell you: the energy doesn’t always come first. The movement does.

So take one step. One breath. One push of the pedal.

And remember: you are not broken. You are becoming.

This isn’t a comeback story. This is a continuation—with more awareness, more intention, more love.

I’m not who I was before MS.

I’m better.

Because now I know the truth:

This body is still mine.

This life is still mine.

And I am finally awake.